When I was young I would watch Anne of Green Gables with my girlfriends.
In the movie, granted fictional, Anne and Diana would hold hands. They’d easily link arms and run through fields. I know, I know, these are made up stories. But they speak to something I used to have.
I remember holding hands with my girl friends when I was in grade school.
I can remember holding my mother’s, sister’s, grandmother’s hands.
Then, I grew up.
Today, I don’t hold my girlfriend’s hands.
I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to invade their space.
And, frankly, I don’t want to make them feel awkward.
And yet, this makes me feel like something good has been lost.
My hispanic grandmother will still hold my hand. Some recaptured moment of childhood love and simple affection gets re-gained by her kindness and nearness. Finn reminds me daily of that kind of physical touch, like when he asks me to rub his foot to go to sleep on long car trips. Or when he holds my hand just for comfort and nearness.
Culturally, Americans have sexualized touch so far that I think most of us have grown so out of practice about holding hands with girlfriends that we’re just plain awkward.
I have a close girlfriend who is very touchy. She rubs my back when I’m sad, she is quick to hug. She’s not afraid of touch. I believe that’s because she’s a twin, her and her family are very affectionate and she’s also a hair-dresser. She’s both trained and practiced with touching other people in a professional and warm way.
But she’s the exception among my friends, not the rule.
What can we do about the touch deprivation that exists today, especially among unmarried people?
How can good girl friends buy back the power of kindness through touch? Without sexualizing or fear sexualizing each other!
I know one thing for certain, it’s not going to get better if we never talk about it.
What do you think?
Your Grandma looks precious.
I’ve noticed the same thing. People are afraid to touch because they’re afraid to be misunderstood, ’cause cause some are so paranoid – some people. I notice that, too. It used to be girls or guys could walk down the street holding hands swinging their arms and it was nothing strange. Today in America, people assume you’re a lesbian, just because of the physical contact. Yep, people have definitely sexualized touch – probably a distortion of sexuality often taught by unspoken social codes. Now often when people hug they do this wierd sideways thing. THAT feels awkward, but I roll with it ’cause that’s what they’re doing to be friendly. I met a friend for lunch the other day, and she hugged me and kissed me on the face. It was so cute it made me giggle and tell her she just made my day.
In the past often neighbors also knew one another better, too, and weren’t so removed. People have changed. Is it a lack of trust? A desire to conform? A fear of needing each other? Insecurity or fear of an awkward uncomfortable silence as the physical contact moment thuds to the floor and grows into a huge awkward barrier? http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/physical-contact-12208/
There are lots subcultural and regional differences, as well. In the South, I see a lot more eye contact and verbalization. In the North I see a more distance and less eye contact. On my side of the family everyone is extremely expressive and noisy and huggy, and on my husband’s side they’re quiet and reserved (not in the “don’t touch me” sort of way but more like a still water kind of way – and they do run deep in a very soulful good kind of way). A lot of my friends are Jewish or gentiles part of Jewish families, and they’re pretty huggable and physical, but that goes back to culture, I think. One of them is originally from New York. In the Mediterranean areas, people kiss one another as a greeting, and if you don’t time it right, you get a kiss on the mouth – oops.
Personally, if a stranger walked up to me moving in for a hug I would avoid it. If I know who someone is and have an initial trust with them already they can hug away. I don’t care whether it’s a man or woman, boy or girl. If it’s someone I’ve met before, if it was a friendly exchange and we began a comaraderie, I’ll accept and give hugs, too. My husband’s boss and co-workers all give me hugs and get them. I think it makes them feel good to have that acceptance. They’re from all parts of the world, Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Judaist. MY thing is about people touching my hair. Only a couple people I know are able to do that without making me feel really uncomfortable.
Here’s another interesting URL http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/physical-contact-55237/
Mandy,
I like all the examples you’ve given.
I believe we are simply out of practice. Like trying to dance a waltz without lessons. But when someone whisks you on the floor you can feel dazzled with gratitude. I love that example of your friend giving you a kiss.
Well timed kisses on the cheek can be less awkward than hugging.
One of the major transitions I’ve used to be more physically affectionate is touching and squeezing good friend’s arms. My hairdresser friend taught me that.
Jonalyn, I think you’ve raised a great question. I’m not a woman, so my perspective comes from the opposite sex
. I think Americans are probably one of the very few cultures in which it is “frowned down upon” for same sex friends to hold hands. I’m not totally sure where this has come from, but I’ve been to countries (along with you and Dale) where a male colleague will try to hold my hand as a sign of friendship. This seems to be common elsewhere. And I think Biblically there have been several precedents set about the commonality of two friends holding hands or being physically connected. I would guess that it is mostly a cultural insecurity here in the U.S. I think for two female friends, there is a time and a place for it. But in a country where we drive ourselves to work, isolate ourselves in our homes, and “sharpen the saw” in solitude, I think it has regressed the way we feel about emotional/physical connection with friends. It is sad, because I think it is against the way our hearts, minds, and souls were created. That’s my take. Great question though.
Nate,
I’m glad to hear your voice on hear.
Cultural insecurity, yes, I agree. The isolation of American culture is part of the problem. When I greet any of my Hispanic relatives it’s easy and natural to give them a kiss and hug. No awkwardness.
And I feel it can be a very good habit.
One we’d like to instill in our son, too.
As a guy, what are ways you feel men can work on this? How do we work on this cultural insecurity to touch?
Jonalyn, I think the issues are deeply rooted in emotional insecurity. Men often times have never received affection and attention from their fathers, which directly contributes to the problem. As a Dad, I love showing afftection to my son, because it is what he wants and needs. My only suggestion to men is that when they’re fathers, play an active role in the lives of your children, not just “being there” but being proactive to help create an emotional and physically secure environment. I honestly think this is the greatest legacy men can leave for the future.
Nate,
I completely agree. Equally Shared Parenting is something I am a big advocate of and write about frequently here: http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2012/02/hold-the-chocolates-while-i-say-adios-to-mr-and-mrs-nag.html
I wish more fathers and mothers considered the possibility and ramifications for all gender issues and spiritual and psychological health for the next generation.
Love this, so true. I think about this often. I am single and really get no interaction with others. I have lovely sisters and we will link arms or hold hands on occasion and my family are big huggers but with friends – you’re right, I don’t want to make people feel weird or uncomfortable. And yet I miss that touch, non-sexual, just friendly affection. I had a group of girl friends in university and when we were together we would play with each others’ hair and give neck and scalp messages. And it felt so healthy and fun and female and friendly, it was not weird…and yet it’s so hard to get to that place with someone. Where it’s comfortable and not awkward. (I LOVE anne of green gables too, such a beautiful friendship…kindred spirits…:))
I remember one of those friends and I decided to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek – in the european style – as we thought it was a sweet way to greet each other! When I visited France last year I was struck at how they all greet each other with a kiss on each cheek. I met so many new people and thought it so funny that I was doing this intimate gesture with someone I didn’t know! But I also thought it was lovely, our North American style can be much more distant – handshake, nothing too close. But in France, you’re immediately right up against the skin of someone else’s face, feel the stubble on their cheek or smell their perfume. There is something glorious about that human connection. I felt much less shy greeting people than I do usually, as I felt quickly drawn into their presence.
I think other cultures can teach much about this. I often see women of Asian cultures holding hands, it seems very natural and normal. Most european cultures I have visited greet with some form of kisses on the cheek. I believe in some Arab cultures men hold hands as they have conversationsI imagine it speaks to much of our western disconnect that our physical touch is so out of sync and sexualized. If I’m out with groups, men will eagerly make comments about sexual orientation and it’s so degrading and irritating that I have to disconnect as I don’t want to attract the attention they give to that.
I don’t know what to do about it either. I know friends who are just more forward and might link arms or connect somehow and I love that they made that gesture. And yet, I don’t quite have the guts to do the same!
C.J.
Thank you for sharing your perspective as a single woman. I have a single guy friend who talks about being skin hungry. I think this is an important need we easily overlook when we don’t care about touching our girlfriends, or at least pushing back the awkwardness to try to work on it.
The priority men who want to see girl-on-girl interaction get in terms of casting all female touch as lesbian or sexualized touch really bothers me. I believe it actually speaks to the imbalance of women fearing and wanting men’s approval or notice, more than women simply wanting to be good friends.
I wish we could come up with some good rejoinders to men who make sexual comments about women holding hands or being physically kind and affectionate. Something like, “Do you think all touch is sexual?”
But that’s probably too blunt… I think I may need some help on that one.
skin hungry – that’s great, so true!
I am just as blunt I’m afraid, have not come up with any good responses to it. I’ve encountered it in so many men…and I tend to return with a big eye-roll, not a response that does me much credit
! It seems anything I even say about it gets turned into innuendo.
It’s also a big issue in terms of women wanting male attention, as you say. I know so many girls, some friends of mine, who have kissed other women or I see them fight or flirt with each other in ways that are sexually weighted, all in the presence of men, of course…and I get furious. I really hate when we feed false stereotypes. I know these girls well enough to know they have no lesbian inclinations. I had to stop going out dancing with my friends, because it made me too upset and depressed to see all the women sexualizing each other to get male attention. Some friends joke that I think too deeply for clubbing – perhaps it’s true! Alright…that’s my rant for now, this topic riles me! I just hate to see women sell themselve short, if only they could place the attention on their unique souls and not their sexual willingness. It’s hard when it’s so pervasive in society, movies and music and music videos and porn and such are so infused with this stuff, I think it leaves women and men with little to look up to and rather confused about their sexuality!
How to deal with this…..I don’t know.
I remember Oprah commented on this issue as she has such a close friendship with her friend Gayle. She talked about our society not being able to understand female friendship and such…I forget what she said, but I was glad to hear her speak to it!
C.J.
I do not think you think too deeply for clubbing. I used to go to clubs and found plenty of sexual energy with just the men and the women, no need to entice them by sexualizing the women, too.
This is an important topic, I’ll be writing about it more down the road at RubySlippers.
If you think of the show’s name where Oprah talks about this, I’d love to know.
Yes agreed, look forward to more writing on the topic!
I found the Oprah quote that I liked, this is what I had read:
“I understand why people think we’re gay. There isn’t a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it—how can you be this close without it being sexual? How else can you explain a level of intimacy where someone always loves you, always respects you, admires you?”
I like how she says that….we have no definition for this friendship and closeness without sexuality. Although you would think that definition would be just that, “friendship”!
The full interview is here: http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Gayle-King-and-Oprah-Uncensored-The-O-Magazine-Interview/2 (sorry, no idea how to link it, but that’s the address at least!)
They discuss a bit further about the rumours around them and then also looks like they delve into all kinds of stuff in their incredibly strong, long lasting, friendship, I think you and Sally would find it interesting, with all you write about on this site!
Interesting article, C.J., I like how Oprah and Gayle are willing to let others see how their friendship works. I hope Sally and I can do that more, here.
Jonalyn, thanks for thinking of the singles with this one! I’m definitely touch deprived.
Even in college when we were all single, I only had one girl friend who was really free in her touchy-feeliness. It probably helped that she had spent a couple of years in Latin America
. There was definitely a bit more touch, mostly goofy touch, w/ select individuals in high school, but I do think that the perception that someone might be lesbian has really effected how free women feel to touch each other (and that awareness and the barriers it threw up culturally did not seem very present until college). I don’t remember holding hands w/ friends when younger than that, but then I was kept very isolated.
Really I never knew much touch–w/ family or friends (unless you count pinching, punching, etc. in the family, lol) A couple of years out of college a mentor hugged me and sat by me during one of our meetings, and I indicated that I’d been wanting affection for a long time. She was surprised b/c she said I sent these “stay away” signals. I was shocked. I was totally unaware of them, but they were unconscious signals that I sent b/c of past abuse. And I had sometimes specifically wished that she would hug me at the precise times when she said she was wanting to but that I was sending the opposite signal.
I believe I tend to send signals of openness now that I’m more aware of myself and have worked through some things. A couple of years ago one of the neighborhood girls was just the right age that she’d come over to me for a hug if I was sitting outside.
But for many, many years I wondered why it seemed like no one (okay, exaggeration… but it felt like other friends were touching each other and not me) wanted to hug or touch me. I would initiate touch sometimes but was insecure about it b/c I already felt rejected going in. I felt rejected b/c people who I saw being a bit touchy-feely w/ others did not naturally try the same with me. I did not know that I was sending a sort of rejection message (about touch) myself.
It’s sort of pathetic that sometimes we (if only subconsciously and in contrast to our conscious desires) fear the things we yearn for (and were created to yearn for) the most. And it’s also sad that we’ve sexualized and restricted touch so much in our culture. I feel even worse for the men b/c the affectionate movements that some women can get away w/ in our culture are almost wholly off-bounds for them in the U.S.
Deb
Deb,
You make an excellent point that we send signals, even subconsciously about wanting or not-wanting to be touched.
I do see a trend that the most secure (less rejected, most healed from abuse) and free to love individuals do touch more. That’s a really helpful observation. I wonder if we worked at touching more regularly if we would also grow more open?
We do fear the things we also yearn for. Something about the evil one in that, don’t you think?!
Yes, men do have it worse!
Thank you for sharing so personally… grateful for your wisdom.
Jonalyn,
Yeah, I think so. However, *sometimes* the insecure and unhealed touch more, but their touch can be unhealthy b/c of inner confusion over their neediness. Something looks and feels subtly wrong about it. (Imo.) And it can become sexualized to a degree even when the orientation is pretty clear.
And that fear (whether subconscious or conscious) is definitely the evil one… I have so many missed opportunities to engage my needs and the needs of others back when I had more of a chance to do so (before illness got me very isolated). What was stolen from us in the fall is maddening. But realizing that is part of the journey.
All best,
D
What was stolen from us in the fall is maddening. That is a profound line, D.
Yes, you’re right that there can be something “off” about unhealed touching. The neediness of this kind of touch is part of what makes it non-loving, almost a grabbing action rather than a “I want you to feel loved and known, listened and cared about.”
I’ll never forget the last time a girl friend held my hand was one of my best friends from college. Several years after graduation at her wedding we were standing there together watching the festivities…she held her husband’s hand and mine. I’ll never forget the closeness I felt with her then…
You’ve raised another great question. Something I’ve thought of off and on. I think if it’s a group of women, 3 or 4 and everyone is linking arms & holding hands it is “accepted” in our culture…ie: Sex and the City. But if it’s 2 girls holding hands walking in the mall, for instances…I believe the majority would assume they a sexual relationship not just a friendship.
Our culture has made SOOOO MANY things sexual. Even nursing a child in public (even completely covered) has become a sexual issue…but when you walk through a mall & see a 90% naked woman in the Victoria’s Secret window, it’s okay.
So very skewed. I have no answers…except I think we must try (and it’s difficult) to just give love–express our love–in an honest, genuine way, if nothing else but for the sake of being an example for my children. I’m personally not an overly touchy person with other adults (ie: my friend holding my hand at her wedding was impacting to me b/c it wasn’t common in my life)…but I love hugs from my girlfriends…but never seem to get enough in our culture. ;-/ I think all around our culture has become less generous with natural affection…but very saturated with sexual affection.
Come to think of it…the people who give the most hugs, for instance, at church are the older sweet grandpa types…I get very few from the women…I’m not sure I’ve ever thought of it until just now.
Elizabeth,
Great admissions and points here.
I began initiating hugging my less touchy-feely grandmother a few years back. Most of those earlier hugs were awkward.
But I stuck with it because I wanted her to feel loved by me and it was, in many ways, a discipline to push past he awkwardness and get her and myself to expect to touch one another.
Now she does expect my hugs and I feel it’s become a good, healthy gift we give one another. I also think the change, to paraphrase Ghandi, must begin with us.
How can you and I change the way and amount women hug one another?
I love that you brought this up, its one of those things that I have thought about…is it or isn’t it weird to hug or be affectionate to a good girlfriend or someone whom you are close to, but have never really gone much further than a passing thought. I can think of one occasion recently at work, when a girlfriend came to visit me and we fully embraced each other in the middle of my workplace. To some, that might be odd, but for me it was just what I needed. I feel like that kind of greeting opens the door for a deeper relationship, which many people are missing these days. A kind of relationship that we need with friends. Physical touch is not sexual, unless you intend it to be. I find myself, at times physically craving the embrace of another person, not because I am attracted to them in any way, but because it is comforting and familiar. As women I feel it is easier to communicate in this way, many women inherently have the desire to comfort and take care of another, and we desire others to do the same for us!
Alyssa,
Yes, to ask ourselves, what do I need right now? and then seek or give that can be a good way to give and receive physical touch.
Great point that physical touch is not inherently sexual, nor need it be so. I can think of so many ways we touch that are not sexual, activities that require touching that don’t intimate sexual double meanings.
As Elizabeth mentioned nursing, there’s also kissing grandparents, holding a child’s hand, petting a dog or child’s hair, shaking hands, offering a hand to an elderly person, etc.
To comfort and care for each other . . . this is a good summary of why touch is necessary!
Thank you!
In mainland China, friends of the same sex are expected to hold hands. So, when I was teaching there one summer, I got in the habit of letting my female students hold my hands, or link their pinky with mine. I felt awkward with it, naturally (?), as an American, and as a person who is not terribly disposed to touching my friends.
Our team leader’s husband Bill (72 at the time) told us about a student of his who took him to see a movie one summer in China. Well, that male student liked Bill so much, he sat next to him at the movie theatre, just holding his hand and stroking his back…Bill was sweating bullets w/ the whole thing, but–good man–did not offend the Chinese student and gently (if feeling so very awkward!) entered into the culture with his student.
Our 8 year old daughter holds hands w/ her girlfriends at school, and also links arms with them. I don’t know when a cultural backlash will happen…it hasn’t yet, and I hope it holds off for a while longer. It’s awfully sweet to watch them be good, close friends. Literally.
Relevant, palpable examples, Susan. Thank you.
You make me realize how our response to physical affection is part of OTHER people’s awkwardness.
I spent a few months in India and saw friends of the same sex holding hands, putting their hands in each other’s back pockets (guys more than girls), hugging on each other, etc. It was more strange for me to see this kind of behavior with guys than with girls. Growing up, linking arms with my girlfriends and giving lots of hugs was more acceptable in my community, but certainly not for guys (over the age of 10). It was interesting to see this difference.
I very much wish that our culture wouldn’t sexualize touch so much, or sexualize ALL interactions between the opposite sexes. I went to a small Christian college my first year, and if I even talked to a guy (as in, “Hey you’re standing on my backpack, please move, thanks”), my friends would then assail me, asking if I was dating him or whatnot. It was stupid and annoying. This over-sexualization does 2 harmful things: creates a fear of sex and creates a desire for illicit sex. At this same school hook-ups were rampant despite people pledging to be pure. I was saddened by it, because I think a healthy understanding and appreciation of sex, as well as healthy platonic relationships, would have gone a long way and enabled people to avoid that kind of hurt.
AI,
I agree that seeing men be affectionate is curious and strange for us U.S.A. types. Isn’t the age of 10 thing interesting?
Why does adolescence make us suddenly shy of being touched or touching our girlfriends? Isn’t that the awkward stage when we need it the most?
And yet, it’s the awkwardness that probably causes us to pull back.
I think most communities don’t know how to monitor or free sexual tension. In Christian schools dating can mean marriage and in public schools dating means too little. I think sex gets confusing in terms of meaning when it’s conflated with a handshake.
Nothing has curbed my illicit desires for sex as talking about and studying sex.
And nothing really awakens and sharpens my ability to be a fully human female as cowing how to touch and interact with women and men in ways that don’t say sexual energy.
It’s a skill to know how to touch another person with affection and phileo love without charging the atmosphere with sexual desire.
I work on it whenever I pass a man who is attractive. I try to smile and interact with him as if he were not JUST a hot guy, but rather a man who is part of the world God made who can show me more of who God is.
This is a gift we give our girlfriends, too, when we engage with them as if they were more than the combination of their attractive/sexual components, but whole females, souls and bodies that reflect God.
I like how Jesus said, “When I was naked you clothed me, when I was sick you visited me, when I was hungry you fed me.” Matthew 25:35ff. This means physical interaction, without sexual interaction. It is possible, it’s even a goal of this embodied life as humans.
Thanks for the new thoughts.
I do love the dialogue here and on Soulation.
About the “acceptable age” of physical affection – I have a big problem with polarizing gender roles and identities to the point that if a person shows even the slightest inclination towards something that is not considered “masculine” or “feminine,” that person is punished and “corrected.” For example, as a young girl, I wanted to skateboard. That wasn’t seen as being feminine. My friends teased me for it and I felt ashamed. Many, many more examples could be listed but I think we all know what I’m talking about.
When adolescence hits, these boundaries become even more enforced as we try to figure out our identities. I think if we expand our definitions of gender and accept that people manifest their identities in different ways, then we would not be so frightened by same sex affection, and the need for non-sexual affection. Hugs between guy friends becomes acceptable. Female friends can hold hands. Even as an adult married woman, people express shock about my dislike of the color pink and the fact that I wear motorcycle boots. Are those things really so important that they have to be pointed out? No. We focus so much on trivial things that don’t fit our narrow definitions that we become fearful. Thank goodness I can now brush off those comments or lovingly tell the person that people don’t have to fit their definitions. Let’s lighten up and enjoy people for who they are…as the title of this blog suggests.
“I work on it whenever I pass a man who is attractive. I try to smile and interact with him as if he were not JUST a hot guy, but rather a man who is part of the world God made who can show me more of who God is.” – you are practicing viewing him as a person and not an object. I think objectification is also part of the problem with physical affection. When we view people as real people, with personalities, desires, flaws, etc., it’s hard to objectify them. When they are no longer objectified, our fear decreases.
AI,
I’m glad you a part of the dialog here and at Soulation.
Yes, these polarized and socialized view of gender can be incredibly damning, corseting to who we are.
In my experience those who are most threatened by non-traditional gender norms are those most insecure with their own gender. They are threatened because they feel they’re standing on shifting sand, as if they need YOU to conform or their gender norms or their gender identity is in danger. It’s almost as if they feel less female by YOUR motorcycle boots. Seems strange to me, but very common.
What do you think?
Yes, objectification is the root!
Absolutely, I think that statement is true of a lot of things we do to shape our identity. And it sounds like it’s rooted in approval-seeking.
Hi ladies!
This is one of the most intriguing blogs I’ve read in a while, since it deals with something I’ve been struggling with over the past couple of years. And you are right…it never seems to really get talked about.
I think that for me, hugging and touching other women in friendship indicates a deeper level of intimacy…more than just a casual acquaintance or a pat-on-the-back familiarity. Most of the women I know who like to truly hug others, or even kiss their friends on the cheek have an established level of trust or deeper level of intimacy than most of their counterparts. Unless, of course, they are from a Latin or Mediterranean culture, where this appears to be a natural way of greeting each other. I think Jonalyn mentioned this point earlier.
However, some of us are slower to trust others and very cautious about taking sudden risks and leaps in friendship. When another woman tries to hug me, or kiss my cheek, I have to quickly assess the situation and decide if I feel comfortable having them in my “personal space” , and if not, how am I going to run interference without hurting their feelings? It can make for some awkward moments at times. I think this may be why some women avoid it.
I am the type that generally prefers not be to hugged, but there are a few people I have begun to feel comfortable with over the past couple of years.And in those friendships, I find physical touch to be almost therapeutic. I find myself looking forward to those special moments with friends, and sometimes moments connected to a deeper emotion are remembered more than the words spoken in those moments. And who doesn’t like to feel happy or refreshed by the touch of a loved one?
Michelle-
You make some great points here!
You mention how thinking comes into play – how we sometimes have to quickly assess a “touching” situation. Running interference and awkward moments – well said! But I am with you…there are special moments with friends where touch seems to pull everything together and express love, acceptance, hope and deeper emotion that can exist between two friends.
Jonalyn did a great job adding this to the mix of our posts – touch between women is something we can all think about…including what you brought up…what if you are a person who isn’t always drawn to touch but can definitely appreciate it.
Thanks for adding your thoughts and comments!
I sincerely miss holding hands with my girl bestfriends . I miss those days were my friends weren’t shy to hold my hand in public . I want a bestfriend who I can hold hands in public without feeling awkward . A year ago , I still rememver when me and a friend I had just met for time , she hold my hand tightly and we just walked around w.out being shy . Now , I miss those days :/
Angie,
I just re-watched Anne of Green Gables and I thought the same thing.
Angie-
Great points here. Things have definitely changed for women touching in public. There is a lot of psychology to being touched – what happens in our minds and our bodies when we feel a physical closeness with another person. This is one thing that affects our geriatric population, but as much is sexualized in our culture, there are ways that were “normal” to touch that are now misinterpreted or overly-focused on. With these changes…we really lose something.
Thanks for adding your comment!