Comments on: Lessons from Piglet

By: Jonalyn Fincher

Jonalyn Fincher — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 22:14:49 +0000

Profound point here, Robin. Life is simpler when we rest our joy or sadness on someone else: simpler, but less chance of being appropriately human.

By: robinmooretherapyRobin M

robinmooretherapyRobin M — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 21:36:23 +0000

Thanks for making this concept of codependency easier to understand – and I guess I should thank Pooh and Piglet as well! In this account I relate to how simple life is for Piglet, no need to take initiative or make hard decisions, just react to Pooh and try to make him happy. If Pooh’s not happy, neither am I but at least I am nobly trying. If Pooh is happy, oh joy! To be responsible for self involves so much more risk…but I think it’s worth it.

By: Martha

Martha — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 17:37:27 +0000

Good post, Jonalyn! I just cringe for Piglet when I realize what is about to happen and that he may be over-trusting his friend, Pooh. Poor thing! I find myself doing the same thing because, like you said, I\’ll take responsibility for other\’s actions or feelings. For me, this links to Sally\’s post on the Demanding Friend who makes you responsible for how she feels or is unkind when you don\’t meet all of her expectations. I am guilty of allowing people to control me with the way they speak, the mood they portray, etc. And because it makes me feel so uncomfortable to think that someone else might be upset with me, I work really hard to come up with a plan to make things right, even when I know in my heart the problem isn\’t my own. It seems like a vicious cycle because I\’ll even recognize that I\’m upset with myself for being upset about the way they are treating me; I feel guilty that I\’ve fallen prey to their cheap guilt. It makes me realize that I\’d rather deal with the discomfort of someone else being unfair than twist myself up in knots to please them, and ultimately being disappointed that I wasn\’t truthful from the beginning. I don\’t think Pooh and Piglet are quite so calculated as some of the situations I\’ve been in, but the principle is working itself out in their own sticky situation.